My actual flight landing at Alicante!

At last .... back home! That´s how many ex-pats feel who have moved to Spain - its lovely to go and visit but you´re itching to get back after a week, especially if the weather is typically British! Apart from the obvious things which you miss - family and friends, the next thing on my list, which most women will relate to, are the shops.... in particular the likes of Tesco et al - yes it does seem sad, but true I´m afraid.

My scene last week in Notts!

My sister and brother in law accompanied me on a trip to Sainsbury and were left speechless as they witnessed me loading my trolley as if I was on the television quiz "Supermarket Sweep"!  They couldn´t believe that I was going to bring back a 2.5kg joint of topside beef, fresh un-dyed Manx kippers or Sainsbury Taste the Difference prime Lincolnshire sausages.  Icelands own brand, which we get over here don´t do it for me - plus they were on offer at 3 packs for 5GBP... how could I resist? Well I didn´t -  I bought back 9 packs!

I flew into East Midlands airport - a first for me. Its a tiny airport and probably good for those that don´t like the hustle and bustle of the large unnerving ones such as Birmingham or Manchester . However, my return journey on Sunday, along with thousands of others, was from Gatwick.  I was rather anxious as we approached the Monarch check-in desks... not because Im a nervous flyer but whether my food haul would incur any excess baggage fees!

The remains of my "refugee" luggage

It was an extremely quick and efficient check in. I hadn´t reserved my seat - so waited to be allocated one at the desk. The lovely lady asked if I had any hand luggage and asked me to pop it on the scales. It came to 7.8kg - must be a first for me to be under the limit and she asked if I would like to check it in FREE of charge! I was almost tempted to discard my wheeley case but I had my ipad and other valuables in there plus no way of securing the zip, so I declined the offer. Next, my checked laundry bag, which was taped up with brown parcel tape and string as the handle snapped just as we were leaving to go to the airport! I looked like a refugee - well a posh one at least with my Gucci handbag and Versace scarf. The scales tipped 21.7kg - I knew then that I should have held back on the Lincolnshires, but to my huge relief she waved it through. Result - I hope she doesn´t get into trouble if someone from Monarch reads this... but my hand luggage was under!

Gatwick Duty Free shop

I bade my goodbyes to my sister Helen, who came in with me incase she had to take back some of my loot and went on through to the security checks - no one asks to see your passport at this stage, mainly because you don´t actually speak to anyone. You place your boarding pass on an electronic scanner which activates the barrier to allow you through to the security check, which as always is a longwinded and laborious process. Electronics out, liquids out, coats off, boots off - any "excess clothing" off... I wasn´t too sure what she meant by that one and the offer of removing my dress was not taken in the joking way in which I meant it! They have no sense of humour there....

I passed through the airport scanner without activating it, collected my 3 trays of belongings and went on through the Duty Free shop, as its the only way to get through to the gates. This is obviously a new strategy at airports, as its the same at Alicante - they obviously hope to tempt you into buying spirits and perfume which most the time you can find cheaper at the local supermarket. I managed to resist and found myself in the middle of a construction site on the other side - however, they "apologise for any inconvenience caused as we make improvements to our appearance".

Never change money at the airport!

I headed for the posh exec lounge upstairs as I have a pass, which with all the noise going on was a blessing. I certainly needed that voddy and tonic which awaited me! I passed by two currency exchange desks and was stunned that they were both only offering 1.05 euros to the pound! The exchange rate in Benidorm was 1.14 - which is a massive difference. A point to remember, never EVER exchange money at the airport!

Half an hour to take off so I headed to the gate expecting most passengers to be onboard. Fat chance... they hadn´t even started yet! To my surprise soon after, they announced over the tannoy that any passengers that had voluntarily checked in their hand luggage had priority boarding - a first for me. I was in seat 7E and as they started boarding from the back had a rather long wait.  I couldn´t quite work out the logic of allowing those with no hand luggage on first as its the ones WITH that hold up the boarding, trying to find space in an overhead locker. Anyway, I managed to get on and as I started down the aisle homed in on my neighbour who was already seated - partly on my seat too (yes a seat belt extension was required!) Im just glad that I didn´t require the "rest room" during the duration as it would have been quite an ordeal getting out of my seat. I must remember to make sure that I never have a middle row seat again!

That´s it ... shove it in!

We obviously took off late - no surprise as they were still boarding passengers 2 minutes before the scheduled take off time. They should really start the process earlier, bearing in mind that conservatively, 80% of the passengers must have had hand luggage. Anyway, up we went and the trolley dollies came round to serve refreshments soon after. I relented and had a coffee - my neighbour opted for a PG Tips... 2.40 euros - I could have bought a box of 80 bags for that... but captive audience and all that. The Duty Free trolley came round afterwards and I wanted to purchase some "Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Essentials" skin products. I handed over my UK debit card but the machine kept rejecting it - and apparently I wasn´t the only one. Im abit like the Queen - I don´t carry much cash and so they lost a sale from me. And probably not only me either. The crew told me that they often had this problem - come on Monarch, sort out your electronics! (if you would like to send me a complimentary one for the stress and inconvenience I will forward you on my details - well, worth a try!)

Baggage reclaim area - deserted so why the 45 min wait?

Landed safely at Alicante to delightful sunshine and 18 degrees - even after only one week away I felt positively anaemic through lack of sun in the UK. There was actually someone at the passport control I was shocked to see - but only one booth was manned mind. There was a rather dishy National Policeman standing next to the booth telling passengers to queue so I flashed him as dazzling a smile as I could muster and he beaconed me over, looked at my passport and told me to go on through! Wow, lucky me - I didn´t hear him calling anyone else over so I gave him a wink as I descended the escalator to go to the baggage reclaim to get my brown taped food parcel. However, 40 minutes later and still standing next to carousel number 7 with no sign of any luggage it hardly seemed worth it! Considering that no other flight had landed in the previous hour, which my husband told me whilst waiting in the arrivals, he was sure that the baggage handlers would be itching to offload the plane - they were obviously itching something or someone else instead!

So Im back home where I belong.... it was lovely to see my daughter, mother, sister and friends - I certainly crammed an awful lot into my week, but in all honesty, I don´t think that I would have lasted much longer. One week bursts are just about right for me - if the weather wasn´t so awful then maybe I´d last longer, but as thats fairly unlikely I´ll stick with 7 days. Incase you are wondering, the weather forecast for the later part of this week says it will reach 24 degrees, so if I were you I´d get online and book a flight ... now were did I put that suncream!