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One of many low cost carriers flying to Benidorm
Many of you will be looking forward to your Easter break here in Benidorm ... sun, sea, sand etc. The stressful bit is always the flight over - will your case be overweight and therefore subject to an extortionate excess fee, will you manage to sit together on the plane - having refused to pay even more to pre-book the seats on those that offer "the service".
To put a smile on your face try and match these flight attendant announcements with your favorite low cost carrier!

On a flight with no allocated seating, passengers were having a hard time choosing when the attendant broadcast "Ladies and gentlemen, we're not picking furniture here - find a seat and get in it"

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants"

As the attendants go through the obligatory safety procedures here are some very funny ones.
"To operate your seat belt, insert metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised"

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab a mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.

A passenger welcome by the pilot " We are pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight"

On landing, the stewardess said " Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything please make sure it's something we'd like to have"

and another one in reference to belongings

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses"

After a bumpy landings
 "Please take care when opening the overhead lockers because, after a landing like that , sure as hell everything has shifted"

"That was quite a bump and I know what you'e all thinking. Im here to tell you it wasn't the airlines fault, it wasn't the pilots fault, it wasn't the flight attendants fault. It was the asphalt"

"Thank you for travelling with us today. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride"

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Remember to always have a mask with you.

 

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